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My Judgement's Clouded

Don't want to be reminded, don't want to be seen

I felt my breath catch and my throat close up. I dind’t know how to act or react. What Danielle just told me changed nothing but it made my heart break. Several questions crept their way into my mind. Was Harry with her when he said he was in love with me? Was he having this relationship with her when he was fooling around with me? Did anyone else know? Did Liam know? Oh my goodness. If Liam knew he would kill Harry. This was not good at all. Why did she tell me? Didn’t El tell her about me and Harry? Of course she hadn’t, I wasn’t supposed to be with Harry because the baby wasn’t his. But still, if El knew about Danielles thing with Harry she would have told her. Right? But did she know about it?

My mind was reeling so I didn’t notice the girls standing in front of me trying to get my attention.

“Rosanna! Ross!” Maddie slapped my face and broke me out of my thoughts. I blinked a few times before I realized she had just slapped me. I placed my hand on the sore area and looked at her with evil eyes.

“What was that for?” I glared at her when she crossed her arms and stared back at me.

“We were trying to talk to you but you zoned out.” She raised an eyebrow and looked at me with questioning eyes. My eyes darted to Danielle and then back at Maddie. Maddie only nodded and understood I would tell her later. I looked at El who was looking at me with worried eyes.

“I’m fine. I just remembered all the things I have to deal with back home.” I laughed a small laugh and then shrugged, hoping they would fall for it.

“Oh okay. You got us really worried, Ross.” El stepped forward to me and dragged me into a tight hug. I happily hugged her back, feeling a little too emotional at the moment. As she pulled back I tried to hold the tears in and smiled at her.

“I am really glad that you okay Ross.” Danielle spoke up and looked at me smiling. I smiled back at her and she stepped forwards to hug me too. I hugged her back. “It was really great to meet you but I have to go now.” I saw Eleanor get a surprised look on her face but it disappeared as soon as it came.

“Yeah it was great to meet you too!” I smiled at her and reach to squeeze her arm quickly. She smiled softly to me and then hugged El and Maddie. She said goodbye to them and then walked away from us, towards her car I presumed. When we no longer saw her we began talking.

“What happened?” El was the one who spoke first. She directed her question to me and it took me by surprise. I opened my mouth to speak but didn’t know if I should lie or not.

“Nothing.” I finally said and then looked away from her. She shook her head and sighed.

“Look, Ross, I know her and I think I know you. Something happened and I need to know what it is.” She spoke with stern words and a determent voice. I looked up at her with a shocked expression and she stared me down.

“She told me about her friend with benefits.” I raised an eyebrow and looked at El.

“Yeah, she has told me about him too but she won’t say who it is.” I sighed and rubbed my stomach where my baby girl was kicking.

“She told me.” El gasped and I think she did because she was offended. Danielle told me the name of her shagging buddy but she hadn’t told El. They were supposed to be best friends.

“Why did she tell you? No offence but…” I put my hand up and nodded. I understood her and wasn’t going to get mad at her. Nevertheless I thought about her question and realized I had a guess as to why she told me.

“I think she was trying to make me feel like I drew the short stick.” El looked at me with confused eyes and waited for me to continue. I didn’t know if it was a good idea for me to tell her. I thought that Danielle had told me she was shagging Harry so that I was going to get jealous. Everyone in the world knew that Harry was famous for being the ladies man, and Liam was famous for being the Daddy. But Danielle might not have meant it that way and I might be making El mad at her for nothing. I sighed once more and looked over at Maddie. She studied my eyes for a long time and then nodded. I didn’t know why she nodded but when she spoke I was grateful

“We should go back to Liams place.” Maddie looked at El and she nodded. “We will talk there, where it can be a private conversation.” We all agreed and walked back to Els car.

We rode back to the flat in silence. Neither of us knew what to say and I didn’t want them asking anything at all. I knew that they were going to demand answers when we got home. I looked out the window the entire way and quickly got out of the car when El stopped. I heard them follow me, neither of them speaking. We walked into the building and then rode up in the elevator. When I unlocked the door to the flat Maddie practically pushed us in and then closed the door. I looked at her in shock and she pointed for me to sit down on the sofa. El followed me and Maddie went into the kitchen to grab three sodas. When she handed me mine I put it against my forehead, feeling a headache approaching. I looked at the two girls in front of me and I really saw both of them as my best friends. I hadn’t known El that long but she was the sweetest person alive. I saw Maddie open her mouth to speak so I put my hands up to shut her up.

“First of all I don’t know if I got the situation right, I might be overreacting.” They both nodded and kept their gazes steady. “And secondly, you have to swear not to tell any of the boys.” I turned to El. “Not even Louis.” She nodded and put her hand on her heart.

“I swear Ross.” I smiled at her silly move, even though the situation was extremely serious she found a way to make a joke.

“Okay…” I took a deep breath and exhaled before I spoke again. “She told me her ‘cuddle buddy’ was…” I did air quotes when I said cuddle buddy. They both nodded their head, leaning in a bit more as if to hear better. “She told me it was Harry…” My words came out in a bare whisper but they both caught what I said. They both gasped and then began ranting and shouting like she was here.

“That bitch!” Maddie shouted. She was standing up now, she had jumped up in anger. “And that man whore! How could he do that to you?” She turned towards me and pointed at me. “Wait a minute. Was he with you when he did her?” I shrugged and sighed.

“Maddie, were Harry and I ever really together?” She shook her head and stormed into the hallway. I let out a shaky sigh and looked at my hands. I shouldn’t be upset but it was Harry…

“Rosie…” El spoke my nickname Liam had given me. It made me feel guilty for feeling like this about the Harry situation. I looked up at her and she was sitting next to me on the sofa. “I’m sorry…” She was looking down at her hands. I smiled and leaned forward to grab them. I squeezed her hands and she looked up at me.

“You don’t have to say that.” I saw anger flash through her eyes and I felt scared for a moment. I felt like if you made this girl angry, you would witness hell on earth. “I’m sure if you had told her she wouldn’t have…” She broke me off there with simple and horrible words.

“I did.” She looked me straight in the eyes and didn’t flinch at all.

“What?” I felt my voice break and felt tears form in my eyes.

“I told her about you and Harry.” My mouth hung open and tears streamed down my cheeks. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know how to react. I just didn’t know. I felt betrayed by someone I met for the first time today. I felt betrayed by Harry. I had let him in and all this time he had her. I knew I shouldn’t be mad because he and I hadn’t been a couple at all. And I had ignored him for the last three months. I had no right.

El pulled me into a tight hug. She held me for minutes and soon I heard Maddie come into the living room. I felt her sit down on the other side of me and she hugged me too. I tried holding back the tears, I tried to tell them I was fine. But I couldn’t because I wasn’t fine. We just sat there while I cried. What only felt like a couple of minutes ended up to be an hour. Maddies phone rang and when she answered it I heard it was Niall.

“Oh you’re here? – Okay. – Yeah I’m coming down.” She placed her phone back in her pocket and hugged me tightly one more time. “Det kommer att lösa sig, Ross. Jag älskar dig.” It’s going to be alright, Ross. I love you. She kissed my temple and when spoke to El. “You need to explain what happened to Liam.” I felt El nod and Maddie hugged me one more time before leaving. My eyes felt dry and I felt tired. All I wanted to do right now was sleep. I looked up at El and it was like she read my mind.

“You go lay down and I’ll talk to him.” She stood up and helped me stand up too. I pulled her into a tight hug and she responded by putting her arms around me. “It really will be okay.” I smiled at her and nodded. I let her go and walked into Liam and Is bedroom. As soon as I got through the door I heard the front door open. Instead of walking out to Liam I went to the bed and laid down. Since the door was open I could hear their conversation.

“Hi El. Where is she?” He sounded worried. “Maddie looked pretty upset. What happened during lunch?” He rushed the questions out.

“Everything was going fine until we were leaving… Danielle told Rosie about her snuggle buddy.” El was trying to keep her voice down but I still heard her. “It’s Harry.” Liam must’ve looked angry or something because Eleanor rushed the next words. “Liam I told her about them. She did it on purpose.” She sounded hurt and sorry.

“Where is Rosie?” Liam spoke with a tight voice and he sounded like he was trying to contain his anger.

“She’s in the bedroom. She has been crying for an hour.” I heard someone move and it must have been Liam because of what El said. “Liam wait!” She waited a second before she continued. “Please don’t be mad at Rosanna. She loves him too.” The air was thick with anticipation for Liams next words. After a minute he answered her.

“I’m not mad at her, El. I am sad for her and I want to comfort her. I love her too, you know.” I heard him move towards the bedroom once again and then I heard the front door open and close.

I felt him get onto the bed and lying behind me. His arm hugged me close to his body and he kissed my hair. His lips lingered there. “It’s going to be alright…” He whispered the soft words in my ear and then hugged me even more tightly. I felt my eyes tear up once again but this time it wasn’t because of Harry. It was because Liam shoved me that he loved me even though I loved another man at the same time. I laid there crying in his arms until I fell asleep. I felt my body crowing tired and slowly the darkness overcame my world. I slept a dreamless sleep.


I loved the story. The ending was so cute! :)
naaah it's fine I'm just going to be subscribed to it to save the wonderfulness lol
Naah I mean dislike very much because I ended the story ;)
Well I mean I would never hate you.... Unless I know you o.O lol