It Takes Patience
Chapter 55: Made to Break continued...
We all decided it was best that the night was cut short seeing as we all got way too drunk at Louis’ dad’s bar and since Niall could barely stand on his own two feet. When the cab got to me and Laurie’s building the four of us piled out of the taxi, not so silently rejoicing that we could stretch out. After Harry stretched, he wrapped his arms around my waist and began to place sloppy drunk kisses on my neck.
“Harry, can you wait until we get inside at least?” I wanted to brush my teeth first. I can still taste smoke in my mouth from Peyton’s kiss earlier. Harry furrowed his eyebrows and then smiled at me devilishly.
“Laurie and Niall don’t give two fucks about what we’re doing. They’re gonna be doing the same thing I’m sure.” I doubt it. Laurie looks at me and snorts while shaking her head ‘no’ trying to keep Niall from sitting down in the elevator.
“Harry it’s not about that. Can you just not paw at me in the elevator right now please?” I don’t mean to be short with him, but I can’t help it. I don’t want to kiss him with the taste of another man’s tongue in my mouth. Harry’s expression changes from playful to somewhat annoyed and curious as he lets my sides go and takes a step away from me. He stares at the floor light again and when we reach Laurie’s floor, he tries to help her with Niall in his on overly intoxicated state and I can’t help but laugh. It was like watching the three blind mice find their way out of a box.
When H. gets back to the elevator, his eyebrows furrow again and he stands on the other end away from me as we reach my floor. We don’t speak. Even when I unlock the doors to my apartment nothing is said. Harry walks straight into the bedroom and starts to take off his clothes before he gets in the bed and I do the same. I’m not sure if the silence is uncomfortable because Harry is mad or just because I don’t know what to say to him right now. I strip down to a tank top and blue lace boy shorts before I head to the bathroom and brush my teeth. When I rinse my mouth it feels as if I’ve washed away a huge mistake and I already feel better. I make eye contact with Harry and the look in his eyes is full of uncertainty.
“Why are you angry with me?” His words are still slurred but easier to understand than earlier.
“Harry I’m no-”
“Yes you are don’t lie! I can tell when you’re lying too you know, you’re not so great at it.”
Glasses grinned at me then crawled slowly into my lap.
“I’m not mad at you H. I had a head ache but it’s gone now. I’m sorry if I made it seem like I was mad.” She pressed her lips softly against mine and I cup my hands under her ass to puller her closer to me. She begins an assault on my neck and I know I had another question to ask her, but blood is rushing from my brain to my other head making it difficult to remember...Think H., think.... OH!
“Where did you go? I mean why were you outside?” She stopped and looked at me with those eyes that have burned themselves into my memory. I see them every time I blink.
“I needed some air. I felt nauseous. We drank way too much at the pub before we got to that M.O.S place. I’m sorry we didn’t stay longer so you could experience it more. It looked like it would have been really fun.”
“Clubs are clubs...That one is pretty sick but it’s not like I won’t ever be able to go back. I’d much rather be here with you doing this.” I started to kiss her neck between each word and I can hear her panting already. Our lips crash together as I loop my index fingers into her panties to pull them down and she break’s the kiss causing me to pout a bit and moan her name.
“Are you sure you’re not too drunk H? I don’t want to have to stop so you can be sick.”
“Shut up and kiss me glasses! You drank just about as much as I did.” Reagan chuckled and crashed her lips into mine again more aggressive than the last time. I flipped her over so that I was on top of her. I know she likes it rough and the majority of the time so do I, but I want to take it slow with her tonight.
I slowly removed her underwear placing kisses on her thighs as I went and she’s already squirming under me. She begins to take off her tank top revealing herself fully to me before she lies down on the bed. I grab a condom out of her bedside drawer and secretly get annoyed. I’m tired of wearing these. Not that I would be normally, but I want to be able to feel her fully. Maybe we can talk birth control when we get to California? I put the condom on, happy that I was already naked to move things along faster and kissed her lips as I slowly slid into her.
I started to thrust when she gave me the look that said it was okay to do so. She winced a bit and grabbed tightly at my sides and I know it’s because of the angle I have her hips in. Sometimes I forget how inexperienced and new she is to sex because she can get so aggressive and she curses like a dirty sailor when she’s horny, which seems to be all the time. We’ve only done it eight times before this and I think I can be happy doing this with her and only her eight million more times.
“Did I hurt you?”
“It’s okay. It just feels different. Don’t stop.”
I continue slowly and we keep eye contact as much as possible as our movements meet with each other.
“I love you Reagan.” She looks at me and I think her eyes glaze over, but she doesn’t say it back and kisses me instead.
She lets go shortly after, letting her orgasm shake her and watching her is enough for me to find my release. I’m blissfully relaxed and nervous at the same time, it’s a weird feeling. Why didn’t she say it back? I fall to the side of her and she curls into my chest rubbing her fingers over my tattoos. I pull her close to me as she falls asleep, and kiss the top of her forehead despite the feeling anxiety that washes over me. As I begin to fall asleep myself, I'm pulled fully awake again. I can hear my phone ring in my pocket against the floor. I remove myself slowly from under Reagan, sure not to wake her as I go to answer it, but I get confused when I see my own number on the incoming call screen...
I woke up the next morning to my head pounding and Harry not being next to me in bed again. If he had another bad dream and didn’t tell me about it I’m going to be pissed. He can’t think that it’s just okay to not sleep through the night like this. He’ll make himself sick. I throw on a t-shirt and my night short when I notice Harry’s clothes are no longer in a messy heap the way we had left them on my bedroom floor. When I open my door and go out into the living room, I find H. fully dressed. He’s sitting on the couch with his elbows on his knees holding his head in his left hand and his phone in his right as he looks down on the screen of the tiny device. The television isn’t on like it was the last time I saw him out here, but when he puts the phone down and stares at the wall in front of him I know something isn’t right.
“Harry?” He doesn’t look towards me or answer.
I walk over to him and when I reach out to touch his hair he furrows his eyebrows and forcefully pushes my hand away. When he looks up at me, there is an ice in his eyes that physically chills me. My skin prickles with goose bumps of the eerie kind and I stand in my place, frozen, almost able to see my breath in the room as I speak.
“Harry what’s wrong?” Harry chuckles slightly before looking up at the ceiling then back to me. His eyes are swollen as if he’d been crying.
“What’s wrong?...There was something last night and I could tell, but I just let it go. I let it go.”
“What do you mean Harry? You’re talking in circles.” When he looks at me now, I feel as if he's staring through me.
Harry grabbed his phone that was sitting on the side of the couch next to him and tossed it on the table. It made a thudding sound as it made contact with the wood, as if the phone in that moment were heavier than the table and the impact of it would shatter the strong mahogany making it no more than splinters on the ground.
“It’s not mine, but maybe you know whose it is. I mean your name comes up in it quite a bit.”
He's calm and unnervingly so, but his eyes give him away. There is a raging storm behind the emerald of them and I have a feeling that it's heading in my direction. Unfortunately, I haven't prepared myself and it's caught me completely off guard. I rub my temples as I look at Harry feeling uneasy under his glare. It's too early for this.
"H., what are you talking about? That's your phone."
“Reagan who is Peyton?” My eyes snap up to meet his and I feel my body temperature drop.
“ANSWER!” When H. screams I jump and I immediately feel tears prick at the back of my eyes.
“No one Harry, he’s no one.” Harry stands up and shakes his head with the phone in a tight grip.
“That’s not what it says in the messages Reagan! I’m going to ask you one more time and this time you better get it right! Who's Peyton?!”
“A friend I met here while I was doing my internship Harry! He’s just a friend!” Tears begin to flow down my face even though I will them not to. I can barely breathe. This can't be happening.
“If he’s just a friend then why are you crying?!”
“Because you’re yelling at me and I didn’t do anything!” I move towards Harry and he draws back as if he was burned.
“Don't touch me! You're lying! You're lying to my fucking face and you didn't even blink! You're only crying because I know now!” Harry throws the phone against the wall and it lands on the floor breaking the screen.
I pick it up and slide my finger across the shattered glass of the iPhone to unlock it. On the home screen, there is a picture of Peyton and I that Laurie took while we were in her flat. It was morning of Gemma’s graduation party, the day that all I could think about was Harry. I go to the messages and begin to read through them, all of the ones that I deleted from my phone that I couldn’t bring myself to read.
“If you’re gonna read them, then do it out loud!” Harry looks at me and begins to pace back in forth.
Please call me back
It wasn’t just sex to me Reagan. Please call me back?
I love you and I know you feel something.
That night meant a lot to me. I love you and I made love to you.
I stopped reading the messages when I get to the ones that he sent me yesterday and I feel bile rise in my throat. How? How could this have happened? Tears pour down my face not allowing me to lie now even if I wanted to and I can do nothing but shake my head in disbelief. Harry stops pacing in front of me, tears and complete and utter hurt spilling from his eyes as he pinches his bottom lip.
“Tell me that he’s lying." H.quiets his tone and the desperation in his voice only breaks me further, "Tell me that it's all a lie and that it never happened.” His voice cracks and I can’t bring myself to hurt him anymore than I already have.
“I’m so sorry Harry.”
“No!” Harry runs his hands roughly through his hair tugging it shaking his head as if the motion would help to reject the truth.
“No, Reagan you didn’t! You couldn’t have!”
“It was the biggest mistake I’ve made! I wanted to tell you but I was so scared. I am so scared to lose you-”
“How many times Reagan?!”
“Harry, please let me explain?”
“HOW MANY TIMES DID YOU FUCK HIM REAGAN?!”
“One time Harry! One time! I could never do that again to you! I love you! I’m so sorry! I'm so sorry!”
“Don’t! Don’t say that to me! Do you love him?!”
“No, no! Not like I love you! I do love you Harry. Please, please let me explain?” I kneel in front of Harry holding my head in my hands as I desperately try to get through to him, but he shakes his head at me letting me know he wants to hear none of it. It cant end like this.
I hear a knock at the door and I already know it’s Laurie and Niall.
“Go away!” I try to shout but my voice breaks as I look at the utterly shattered Harry in front of me. His face is red and wet and his eyes are swollen from tears. He paces back and forth in front of me and takes a deep breath while looking up at the ceiling, trying to stop tears from falling. Laurie uses her key and as she opens the door Harry comes down to my level on the ground. He pulls me to him hugging me and whispering in my ear only loud enough for me to hear him.
“I loved you. I fell completely in love with you, Reagan and you were playing mind games with me this whole time. Thank you for showing me what a fool I was.” I felt a tear drop from Harry’s face down to my cheek and I swear it burns me like acid rain. He places a kiss on my forehead letting it linger there longer than usual before he stands up and rushes past Laurie and Niall out of the apartment. I stand to try and follow him but Niall is after him before me.
“Harry please, no?! Please?!”
“Shit! Harry wait up!” Niall ran out down the hallway to try to catch up to Harry and I went to my room to throw on some sweats to quickly follow behind the two of them
“What happened” Laurie asked grabbing my arms holding me back from leaving the apartment.
“Laurie let me go, please! I have to stop him! Please!”
“I won’t let you go out like this! Calm down Reagan! Tell me what happened!” She tightens her grip on my arms and I fall into them letting sobs rake my body.
“He’s gone." Niall comes back in the apartment ten minutes later, winded from trying to catch up to H., "He went down the stairs and sped off before I could get to him. He's he’s not answerin his phone either. What did you do?!” Niall’s tone is forceful causing more tears to fall from my eyes and I can faintly hear Laurie scold him for yelling at me, but it reminds me of white noise in the background.
He's gone. He's gone and this time he's not coming back.
I muster all the strength I have in my body to push myself away from Laurie before I go into my room, calling Harry's phone repeatedly hoping to get an answer, even though in the back of my head I know that he's done.
~Three days Later~
The days after H. left my apartment were a complete blur. I didn’t eat and I definitely couldn’t sleep. I was making myself sick thinking about it, about him.
Laurie tried to stay with me as much as possible and she even told me that she had overheard Niall talking to Harry on the phone one day. She told me that he was home and just as miserable as me, but somehow by the way my chest aches, I know that he’s worse and that there's nothing that I can do or say to him at this moment to right all of my wrongs.
The boys wouldn’t answer any of my texts or calls so that I could check on Harry myself, and I wouldn't dare show up there to his house. I know they are angry and they have every right to be, but to hear confirmation from them would have made our split a little bit easier.
I gave Laurie Peyton’s phone so that she could give it back to him. I couldn’t bring myself to do it and though I blame him for Harry and I splitting up, deep down I know it’s my fault. How could I have let this happen? I should have told H. when I had the chance to, I shouldn’t have listened to Channel. There are so many things I wish I could change but I know I can’t. The only way to get away from all the pain it brings is to leave, but as soon as I put my foot on the plane, I felt as if I would double over.
I left Harry several messages but he won’t return my calls and I don’t expect him to. Before I left, I wrote Laurie a note on her door to let her know that I was gone, being too much of a coward to tell her in person that I'm leaving even earlier than I was expected to. I don’t want to talk about it. I just want it to be erased. Harry was my strength and now that I don’t have him I don’t have that either. It feels as if I’m hollow. Only a ghost of me walks around and it’s only been three days. Three days of no contact. No phone calls, no texts and the green eyes that I love so much now haunt me in my sleep. I will never forget him, but now a part of me wishes that I had never met him in the first place.
I’m overly tired and I know that I look it when I touch down in LAX airport.
Channel smiles when she greets me but I’m not happy and I won’t make myself put on a fake air.
“Babes!!! I’ve missed you!” She grabs one of my many bags and begins to roll it out towards the car. When we get outside, my phone service returns to normal and my phone gains more bars. As I sit in the car and close the door, the phone begins to light up and vibrate vigorously allowing me to receive all of the messages I missed while I was in airplane mode. I get excited momentarily, but then slump back into my seat when I see all of them were from Laurie. This time instead of reading the texts I decided to listen to my voicemail.
“Aren’t you happy to be home Rea-Tard? I mean London is a totes beautiful place but the weather there has nothing on Cali." Reagan doesn't respond. She puts her hood up and puts on her sunglasses as she fiddles around with her phone. My heart hurts for my friend, but I know that she'll recover. Reagan is a force to be reckoned with. She's never down for long.
" I know you’re upset about Harry, but you made the right decision babe. You have to think about your future first. It’s good that you accepted that job in San Fran! You know what that means?! We have so much to celebra-” I started to pull off from the airport when Reagan grabbed my arm dropping her phone. She put one of her hands over her chest and began hyperventilating. The next thing I knew, the door was open and she hopped out of the car while it was moving. Tears started to roll down her face. She's scaring the shit out of me.
“Rea what the fuck?!” I pulled over again turning on my hazard lights;“Don’t you ever do that again! Jumping out of a moving car Rea?! I don’t care how slow we were going! Don’t you ever do that agai-”
“Channel I have to go! I have to go back! I made a mistake! I have to go back!” She spoke quickly in between fighting to gasp for air making it hard to understand what she was saying.
“Rea you have to breathe! Take a deep breath! In through your nose then out through your mouth. What’s wrong?! Are you alright?! Can somebody help me please?” I called for help and tried to keep my tone as calm as possible to keep from rousing her even more than she already is.
“N-no Channel! It’s Harry I have to go back! I have to go see him! I have to go back! Please let me go see him!” Tears freely fell down Reagan’s cheeks and her breathing became more erratic as if she were having a panic attack. A lady came to our side on her phone calling an ambulance for Rea as she began to look deathly pale. She got on the sidewalk and went for the door to go back into the airport but she collapsed before she could reach it. I know I’m crying too but I steady my tears to try and stop hers.
“Reagan! What happened! Tell me what happened?”
Hi guys and hello new subscribers! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING AND VOTING AND COMMENTING! You guys are amazing and I love you all! So what did you think? This is the last one before the sequel and it ends in a cliffhanger. I am so anxious to see what you all have to say about this one so be sure to comment comment comment and still vote and subscribe! How do you think Harry got Peyton's phone? What's to come next for Reagan, Harry, Peyton and the rest of the gang? Let me know what you think and if you're excited for the sequel, anxious to know what happens next and love the story be sure to vote, comment and subscribe on this one! LOVE YOU ALL IMMENSELY FOR READING! Xx