what do i do? - Comments

@Megan Tiffany Styles
:)

@harry-styles
i'm glad u like it and i will

cewl....update pwease!

@Megan Tiffany Styles
thank u <3 you too?

@PARTY ANIMAL XD
ok i will try to update soon and glad you like it <3 you

The story is really AWESOME_SAUCE!!!!!!!!!

ok i will see what i can do

@Megan Tiffany Styles
there are spelling errors ,but the story line is good

@Megan Tiffany Styles
no ! i really like the story !
but i don't want it to be put on hold :(

@Narry'sBitch
what is it good or bad if it is sorry

@hazzahstyles19

yep...

@hazzahstyles19
sorry its my first chapter damn it i realy didnt want to r do the chapters because it will be totaly different and sorry again i dont realy know alot about punctuation sorry about the liam thing i will fix that im just going to start over completly sorry i feel bad about this i am so sorry :'(

And Payne has an "e" in the end…

Okay… Cupcake… Right off the bat, I found it kinda hard to follow along because of a few things.

a) After you end a sentence, you are suppose to capitalize the first letter of the next word. This will let the readers know that the sentence before is over and it's easier to follow along.

b) Please please start using the proper punctuation marks like comma's and apostrophes ( I think I spelt that right…) It will help the viewer read fluently and the way it was meant to be read.

c) Paragraphs are needed. Once you get done with one five sentenced thought, a new paragraph would be used to separate it all so it won't get jumbled up and crazy.

d) Quotation marks are good. They are your friend. They help tell whether or not one of the characters are talking. For example:

"Mom said to take out the garbage." Amy informed her older brother as he walked towards the kitchen.

"Yeah, whatever." He growled, rolling his eyes.

You see how that separates and helps the reader see who is talking and what they are saying?

Spelling is also something I see that could use a little work. I'm not trying to be mean but there are a lot of spelling errors in there. I can understand if your typing on a tablet or a phone but they have spell check, right?

I didn't write this to make you angry or upset with me. I'm trying to help you. I hope I didn't upset you and I would love to read the re-do of the first chapter, if you do one. I hope you take this in a good way.


-M xx